Monthly Archives: May 2010


When Jim works long hours it makes Lisbet feel as though he`s never there for her. Lisbet spends all of her time meeting the children’s needs and Jim feels that she doesn’t have time for his needs? Can this relationship be saved? Should it be saved? Here’s how to save a relationship.

First, you must decide whether the relationship is worth saving. While almost every relationship can be saved with hard work, both parties must decide that they want to make it work. There is little to be done, if one partner has left and doesn`t want to work it out at all. Many remain in a relationship or marriage because of the children. But that is not enough. You need to start with a commitment from both people if you have determined that you both want to save the relationship. Now you need to discuss the problems in the relationship.

One of the biggest problems in how to save a relationship is that people believe the symptoms of the problem are the problem itself. For instance, many people think an affair is a problem that causes break ups. Truthfully, the affair is only a symptom of a much deeper problem. A straying spouse may happen if there is a real lack of true intimacy. Lack of intimacy is the root cause of an affair. If you do not deal with the lack of intimacy, you might be able to keep another affair from starting through the use of guilt, but another problem (for instance pornography) could pop up because you haven’t dealt with the core issue. When you start to deal with core issues rather than symptoms, you can save the relationship.

Once you have identified the core problems, you can begin to share your thoughts. Verbalizing your own feelings is important but you need to also listen carefully to your partner`s concerns. With emotions on a roller coaster right now, make sure to hold your partner`s hand to show them that you really do want to reconnect. When your listening to your partner talk and if something hurts you, try to remember that they are not intentionally trying to hurt you.

You should make a plan once you have figured out the problems in your relationship. Then, take concrete steps on your action plan. Plan a date night every week, to spend some real quality time together like you use to do. Whichever night you choose take turns doing something different on that particular evening. If not communicating is the problem, commit to spending 20 minutes before going to bed just talking to one another. And, then do it.

It’s important to know that saving a relationship is going to take some effort. It`s a process, you might move ahead two steps and then slip back one step. There is going to be both laughter and tears going forward. Apologize quickly and slow to blame.

Is your relationship worth saving? If the answer is yes, this article will help you to save a relationship.