Your friends are always telling you that you are good looking, have a great personality and have so much to offer someone, but you’re thinking “If I’m so great then why am I still alone on a Friday night trying to mend my broken heart?”
The solution may be closer than you think if you are willing to be honest with yourself. Most of the time we walk around in denial, telling ourselves that all the good ones are taken, but you’re still single and you are a good catch, so all the good one aren’t taken!
Reason #1 – You are attracted to the wrong person.
Make a list of what you look for in a partner, is your list close to who you are attracted to? My friend, Belle, for instance, is a beautiful girl and has no trouble getting a date, but her relationships never last more then a few months, why? For Belle, she needs to have that instant attraction or she doesn’t give the guy a chance. That attraction though, has nothing to do with the guy and has everything to do with sexual attraction. How can you build a long-term relationship on sexual attraction?
Some couples can grow from a sexual relationship to a more meaningful relationship, but it really depends on the people. Unfortunately for Belle, these guys she is attracted to are not the kind of guys that want to settle down, or are the type that will stay faithful. That is why she always ends up with a broken heart, because her list and the guys she went out with have very little in common.
What does your list look like? Does the person you want to be with the same person you are attracted to?
Reason #2 – Looking for love in all the wrong places.
I hear constantly from my friends how hard it is to meet a great guy. When I ask them where they are looking they sheepishly tell me… a bar. I don’t know about you but I don’t know anyone who has met someone at a bar and had a lasting relationship.
While there is always a chance that you could meet someone great at a bar, you’d probably have a better chance to meet someone at a coffee shop, a bookstore or even a laundromat. One of my friends met her husband at the bus stop, since they were both there everyday at the same time they struck up a conversation and got to know each other. After a few weeks they finally went on a date. If they had met at a bar they probably wouldn’t have even bothered to get to know each on the same level as they did at the bus stop.
What are some of your favorite places to hang out, could it be the place you meet your Mr. Right?
Reason #3 – You listen to your friends and not your gut.
Our friends only want what best for us and sometimes what they think and what we think is not always the same thing. I remember meeting my friend’s new boyfriend one night, they had been dating for a while and she really wanted her friends to finally meet him.
It was rocky right from the start, her new guy got totally hammered and was completely out of hand. My friend squirmed in her seat as he kept spilling his drink everywhere and got louder and louder. He did not make a good first impression.
The next day I told her, “That guy is an idiot, you deserve much better than that!”. I know I wasn’t the only one who told her to dump him, but she didn’t give in to peer pressure and continued to see him.
I’m so glad she ignored me because he turned out to be a really awesome guy! He acted like a complete jerk that night because he had been nervous about meeting all of us so he drank too much.
So do you listen to your friends and dump potentially great guys?
So is the solution to why you are still alone right in front of you? Do you think you know now what changes to make? Can you make the changes so you are not home alone on a Friday night, wondering to yourself “How can I mend my broken heart?”. If you think there is another reason I may have missed, let me know by putting in your comments.