Monthly Archives: November 2013

does-conflict-in-relationships-affect-men-more

Will Psychology Help Heal My Broken Heart?

Psychology may help us understand why men and women react differently when trying to overcome conflicts in a relationship and mending our broken hearts. From time to time there are going to be arguments if you are dating or in a marriage. It can make matters worse if the couple’s way of dealing with conflict cause them to make things worse. Whether you are married or just dating, couples have turned to marriage counselors or other forms of relationship guidance. You will realize through counseling some things that will help you to understand how each other thinks.

There was a study funded by the National Institute of Mental Health which showed that most couples who had been together for only a couple of months between the ages of 18 and 21 avoided intimacy and being dependent on their other half. Concerns of being rejected or abandoned increased levels of anxiety was also uncovered in the study. Those tested all exhibited different degrees of the anxiety over being abandoned. When dealing with anxiety and thoughts of abandonment, people reacted to it differently and those who were more secure in themselves had lower levels.

What was interesting in the testing was how differently the results were in both men and women. When using these subjects, the ones researching relationship psychology found that in their physiological reaction to relationship conflict, the reaction in men was more easily noticeable. The majority of men were found to have an increased reaction to anxiety while only those women who are the more avoidant types showed any real changes.

In trying to resolve conflict in a relationship, women are more likely to want to guide a conversation. They are the ones actively working to get the situation resolved in this situation, the psychology shows. Although the women showed increased cortisol levels before and during the confrontation, the level decreased dramatically after. Getting the conflict over quickly was more physiologically satisfying, the women showed.

Conversely, conflict resolution in men showed to be more passive. There was evidence that they as well wanted the conflict resolved however they weren’t anxious to confront the conflict head on. Female partners who were more secure, the men showed lower levels of anxiety. Whether the male counterpart was secure or not, there was no change in the level of anxiety in the women.

Whether you go to family therapy or psychologists to seek out relationship advice, they are going to try to help you understand how men and women react differently. Studying the effects of conflict in men and women in the above research will help you know why they react the way that they do in the relationship. Research done by psychology and physiological teams, will help you heal your broken heart and deal with conflict better.

breaking-up-is-hard-to-do-ending-a-relationship

Does your to-do list look something like this:

·    Walk dog
·    Water plants
·    Break up with significant other

Someone has to make the move to break up if it’s a mess. But ending a relationship is hard and isn’t at the top of anyone’s to-do list. Since breaking up is so hard to do too many relationships have gone on far longer than they should have.

Other times break ups can be full of drama with someone’s clothes being heaved out of a window. Or there are times when the relationship just dies a slow death.

So what do you do to not hurt the other person when ending a relationship?

Ask yourself why you want the relationship terminated. The immediate reason that jumps into your mind may not be the real reason. Once you get clear, the next step in ending a relationship is to get honest. This means when you speak to your partner you need to be true to them and true to yourself.

Schedule a mutually convenient time for the breakup. If distance is an issue, you should do it as soon as you can, it’s always best to do it in person. Be compassionate when ending a relationship. If staying friends after the break up, end the romantic ties on friendly terms.

Talk about all the things you’ve learned and the great memories you will cherish instead of putting your partner on the defensive. Being there during the break up process is important. You may need to respond to their needs right now as it may be a very difficult and emotional time for them.

When ending a relationship try not to take it personally if the other person says something very hurtful. You might need to meet with your partner more than once to have closure in the relationship. Or, they may need space. Help your ext to get through this hard time.

You are now ready to start a new phase in your life that doesn’t include your ex, so don’t let them make you feel guilt for it. If you want to retain some sort of relationship with them that’s fine, but remember when ending a relationship for the right reasons, in the end it is best for both of you.

Should you ever consider reconnecting? Does ending a relationship always mean “the end, close the book”? Most relationships can be saved if you do the work, that is something only you can decide. You can get through this period and come out an even stronger couple if you are willing to invest the time and effort.

However, if you are determined to walk away, it’s best to ending a relationship with a clean break and move on.

How to Get My Ex Back When He Has Moved On

If you have just gone through a breakup are you asking yourself “how to get my ex back when he’s moved on”? Don’t bother moping, because what you have lost does not mean you have lost it forever. Learn how to get my ex back when he doesn’t appear to be interested and has moved on to another woman.

  1. To get the man of your dreams back, the first step is to find a way to show him that he still wants you. There are several things you can do from this point on, unless he has stated clearly that he doesn’t want anything from you.
  2. A great way is to just start out being his friend. Make a really good friend to him, showing him that you understand him and that you can be around him without creating any drama. Show him that you can joke around with him and have a healthy friendship with him. After the stress of the breakup has occurred he may suddenly realize that he wants you back.
  3. Don’t be afraid to show a little attitude when talking to your ex boyfriend, but be sweet and kind too. You are going to want him to want you, but you’re also going to want to give him the feeling that he cannot have you just yet. Don’t play games but playing a little hard to get may make him more interested.
  4. You should be playing a little bit hard to get, but you also want to make sure that he knows you are available. You shouldn’t completely rule out the concept of flirting and hanging out with friends, because drumming up a little bit of jealousy never hurt anyone – But it is important that you play it safe because if he doesn’t think you are available, he probably will not find the motivation to pursue you.
  5. You must not show that you are desperate, your ex will not respect that. You are going to want to play things cool, letting him know that you are okay with everything that has happened, and that you are willing to move on. Things will not go the way you want them to if you act desperate, so do not do it.
  6. Look at him out of the corner of your eye, anytime that you know he is looking at you. This sidelong glance will let him know that you are paying attention to him, but in a mysterious “you can’t have me” kind of way.
  7. Subtly hint at all the best times you’ve had together. These good memories will help him to remember how good the two of you used to be together. It won’t do any good to bring up bad memories…so don’t.

These are the first steps in trying to win back your ex. They are the initial steps I followed when I lost the love of my life. And frankly these aren’t my original ideas. I turned to T ‘Dub’ Jackson when I had no idea of how to get my true love back. We are now hopelessly in love after adopting T “Dub” simple plan called “The Magic of Making Up“.

Some Practical and Surprising Tips on How to Heal My Broken Heart

Relationships can be a truly wonderful thing and they can add joy, happiness and meaning to a person’s life. However, when those relationships end, the emotions that the break up can lead to are the exact opposite of how wonderful and enjoyable the relationship made you feel. In essence, you usually come out of those times with one whopper of a broken heart. Having a broken heart can be a terrible thing to have to contend with, but with a few simple how to heal my broken heart tips, you can make the situation not only more manageable, but you can also help to reduce the time you have to suffer.

There are plenty of how to heal my broken heart tips that you will find, but one in particular deals with putting the relationship and those things that remind you of that other person out of your life and out of your mind. What you will want to do is gather everything that reminds of your ex, pack it up and get rid of it. Throw it away, donate it to charity, give it back or have a friend hang on to it for you. Whatever you do, if it belongs to your ex, get as far away from those things as you can.

Another good how to heal my broken heart tip, although this might seem a little odd but it is a proven way to get your mind off of your lost relationship, and it’s good for you as well, is to get some exercise. It is a scientifically proven fact that as you exercise, your body releases endorphins that actually help to improve your mood. It would account for why some people who come out of a serious relationship tend to lose weight, look better and feel better. While this might not be the sole source of your broken heart recovery, it may give you more hope that you can and will get over your heartache.

No one wants to think that in the middle of a wonderful relationship, that their relationship will one day end, but the sad fact is that they often do, and when they do, it can throw you into a spiral of depression and despair. However, with these simple how to heal my broken heart tips, you can find that there is life after the break up.