Does your to-do list look something like this:

·    Walk dog
·    Water plants
·    Break up with significant other

Someone has to make the move to break up if it’s a mess. But ending a relationship is hard and isn’t at the top of anyone’s to-do list. Since breaking up is so hard to do too many relationships have gone on far longer than they should have.

Other times break ups can be full of drama with someone’s clothes being heaved out of a window. Or there are times when the relationship just dies a slow death.

So what do you do to not hurt the other person when ending a relationship?

Ask yourself why you want the relationship terminated. The immediate reason that jumps into your mind may not be the real reason. Once you get clear, the next step in ending a relationship is to get honest. This means when you speak to your partner you need to be true to them and true to yourself.

Schedule a mutually convenient time for the breakup. If distance is an issue, you should do it as soon as you can, it’s always best to do it in person. Be compassionate when ending a relationship. If staying friends after the break up, end the romantic ties on friendly terms.

Talk about all the things you’ve learned and the great memories you will cherish instead of putting your partner on the defensive. Being there during the break up process is important. You may need to respond to their needs right now as it may be a very difficult and emotional time for them.

When ending a relationship try not to take it personally if the other person says something very hurtful. You might need to meet with your partner more than once to have closure in the relationship. Or, they may need space. Help your ext to get through this hard time.

You are now ready to start a new phase in your life that doesn’t include your ex, so don’t let them make you feel guilt for it. If you want to retain some sort of relationship with them that’s fine, but remember when ending a relationship for the right reasons, in the end it is best for both of you.

Should you ever consider reconnecting? Does ending a relationship always mean “the end, close the book”? Most relationships can be saved if you do the work, that is something only you can decide. You can get through this period and come out an even stronger couple if you are willing to invest the time and effort.

However, if you are determined to walk away, it’s best to ending a relationship with a clean break and move on.

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