I think many women have false hope that plastic surgery could save their marriage. But are women having plastic surgery to keep their man or are they doing it for themselves? Whatever your intentions are you may still find yourself trying to mend your broken heart.
The first one of my friends to get plastic surgery was Cori. Her marriage of 16 years had always been pretty rocky, in fact early that year they had done a trial separation. When their kids began to act up at school and act out at home they decided to give their marriage another chance. Since both of them had had affairs there was a lot to work through. Cori was constantly comparing herself to the woman her husband had been with and her husband, Will, was over compensating to try and bring the spice back into their relationship.
Trying to work through their problems they both came to the conclusion that plastic surgery would help. Cori wanted to feel better about her body and her husband hoped with her new confidence that their relationship would get that spice back. Since the one thing that Cori wasn’t happy with on her body was her breasts, they decided that she would get breast implants.
She told me that after the surgery she literally had to fight her husband off and she loved it! She claimed that it was the best decision they had ever made and she was quite sure that it saved their marriage.
Unfortunately that is not always the case; in fact some men are terrified of their women getting any plastic surgery done. One man, from Alberta, says he loves his wife exactly as she is, but she wants to have a tummy tuck, liposuction, and breast implants. He explained that she wants to have the body she had before they had children, but he’s afraid that with her new look that she’ll run off and have an affair. Are his fears warranted?
Most women get plastic surgery to make them feel better about themselves. If their current relationship is dysfunctional then the surgery may give them the self-esteem to finally leave. But if the relationship is solid any surgery shouldn’t have any negative effects.
Another woman confessed to me that her husband asked her if she would ever consider having breast implants. She thought he loved her C cups, even though they weren’t quite as perky after two kids. She immediately began to feel self-conscious about them and decided to get surgery done to please him because she thought that is what he wanted. While his comment had been quite innocent it planted a seed into her head.
The surgery made her feel depressed and she stated she felt her slim build looked like a pencil with two huge balloons on it, she thought she looked like a clown. Although her husband told her she looked beautiful she became more and more self-conscious. Finally, with her husband’s full support, she decided to have the surgery reversed and a breast lift done instead. She claimed for the first time in a long time she feels like herself again and her husband was just happy to have her back.
Most research states that plastic surgery often does not help if a relationship is already having problems, has a history of problems, or if you are getting the surgery to please someone else. It only a temporary solution and the underlying problems are still there. Those problems need to be dealt with before considering surgery or your relationship won’t survive anyways.
This is exactly what happened to Cori. Six months after her breast surgery her marriage began to have problems again. While her new body and confidence had been a great distraction for six months, the same old problems and patterns began to surface and they were back where they had started – separated. Even though she is heart broken that they couldn’t work it out she claims she doesn’t regret her surgery because she did it for herself as well as her husband. She says she feels much better about herself and she is confident that her heart will mend.
Plastic surgery done for the right reasons, and not to act as a “band-aid” to save your marriage, can have many positive affects. After all it’s quite normal to want to have your body back after having children, or change something you’ve always wanted to change, or just to fight aging. Regardless of the reason you have to be doing it because you want it, not to please someone else. So if you are trying to save your marriage with plastic surgery you may instead find yourself trying to mend your broken heart.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
I have saggy breasts from breastfeeding my children. It doesn’t bother as I think and feel it is my “rite of passage” into motherhood. However, my husband really doesn’t like them. He misses my full perky breasts I had prior to children. He wants me to get implants and increase my size to a “D” cup. I was a “C” cup before kids. I’m not sure what to do. I know I am supposed to do it for “me” but has anyone else gone through this? If so, what did you do and were you happy with your decision?
A very common reason that husbands seem to show more love to their wives because the woman moved her attention to her children.